I am not a monster


I’ve seen the concept of writing unpopular ideas and opinions before, and it makes being successful a paradox. If your article is well received, how unpopular can your opinions actually be?

The truly revolting opinions aren’t even published, and the borderline ones — or the ones that successfully honor the theme — are barely read at all. So the key is to find some common ground while appearing to be unpopular, which goes against the entire idea behind writing the article in the first place.

This isn’t easy, but I’ll try to thread the needle.

You should be able to abort until the kid is five

I’d keep my day job, and you should, too


There’s nothing poetic about poverty. If you quit your job, you’d have more time to write, but it’s difficult to do so if you’re constantly worrying about money. When you’re hungry, all you can think about is food.

I don’t particularly like my job, but I have to concede that I’m one of the lucky ones. Unlike many others, at least I’m still working; we transitioned to working from home quickly; and while the overtime is killing me, I’ve knocked almost 20 years off my mortgage. Maybe once that’s paid off, I’ll quit and find something easier primarily for the…

You’ll probably regret it either way


Can’t live with them and can’t live without them. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

These phrases are clichés for a reason.

What would have happened if you’d stayed with that ex? Or went to college for astronomy instead of accounting? Or studied abroad instead of staying close to home? Or treated your friends and family better?

Sadly or happily, your life would still be filled with immutable regret.

You’ve probably tried to stay with someone who’s left, and left another who wanted you to stay. You might have tried the…

At least with clickbait, you can choose not to click


The cost of robocalls, junk mail, and spam is astounding. In addition to being annoying, time consuming, and predatory, they waste enough money to match the GDP of Portugal.

According to Google and Microsoft, roughly 88% of all email is spam, and it costs us $20 billion a year in time and energy. Spam is relatively efficient for scammers, but increases the load on servers, businesses, and internet providers, and much of that cost is defrayed to us in the form of higher bills for goods, services, and energy.

The USPS has received $45 billion in taxes (and counting) to…

Learn them, know them, live them


You can’t be fired for being an asshole — none of us would have jobs — but you can be fired for almost anything else. Still, there are grey areas, and firing people is expensive.

Drugs and alcohol

Most employers are willing to overlook substance abuse and depression as long as you keep on doing your job and don’t do anything too destructive or crazy. If you’re making them money, your job is secure. …

It isn’t because conscience keeps them awake at night


Whenever someone speaks with a billionaire, they typically report back the same gushing gibberish. He’s so smart because he understood my question! He actually listened and deigned to speak with me!

We want to believe in The American Dream; that we all have a chance if we’re willing to work for it.

Billionaires profit by exploiting this debunked myth.

Most of us are born and will die in the same socioeconomic bracket, and the poorer you are, the worse your chances of escaping.

Maybe a few of the more self-conscious billionaires have moments of clarity. I’m robbing these people blind…

Unlimited firepower for all


I used to wrangle with conservatives and 14-year old libertarians over meaningless semantics like licensing and registration not being the same as an all-out ban; or the right to bear arms not equating to virtually unlimited firepower, but they kept on reminding me that I have to respect the Constitution just like they do (except for the 1st, 4th, 6th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 14th, 15th, 16th, 19th, 22nd, and 25th amendments).

In any case, they’ve completely won me over.

Why should we have any cohesive national policies when it’s so much easier to deal with a…

Calgon go away


After living on the other side of the earth for two years, a few issues became apparent that should have been beforehand — primarily that a small country in the middle of the South Pacific has a unique biome, and the microbiomes within and upon us aren’t well equipped to deal with major changes.

The background

The fist few months in Tonga, almost everyone got sick, and most of us got sick again when we returned home. …

And my clone


I have an embarrassing confession.

Japanese sex robots are coming (no pun intended) and I need to get my grubby paws on one, but not (solely) for sexual gratification. My darkest, dirtiest fantasy is teaching the robot how to do my stupid job.

Life may be meaningless, but it definitely isn’t supposed to be spent laboring until you keel over. I want my job to be automated, but I don’t want to be left out of the loop financially. A Japanese sex robot is my only alternative.

The robot wouldn’t even have to be competent. As long as it was…

Fox News would have been illegal 30 years ago


The internet killed off more newspapers than it’s possible to count. Circulation is down to below what it was in 1940 while the population of the US has increased from 132.1 million to 331.45 million. The sharp decline in readership started in 2005, and advertising revenue decreased with it from $49.3 billion to $8.8 billion (not adjusted for inflation).

News outlets have reacted by slashing their budgets and the scope of their reporting, but they’ve done so in all the wrong places.

Federal elections are milked for two years, while local elections are largely ignored. On any given day you…

Harry Seitz

Writer and Returned Peace Corps Volunteer.

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