All of us — Call me crazy, but I don’t think that fewer people than it takes to play the infield for a baseball team should have the power to make decisions for over 100 million women and teenagers. As Trump packed the Supreme Court with one conservative judge after another, liberals said that…

They’re misunderstood — All of us are idiots. A few days ago at work, I forgot the address of the building, and I’ve been accidentally destroying cars, bicycles, and furniture since I was a small child. I have dreams about snapping iPads in half or building rickety ladders out of the garbage because…

You have to do it — As transcendent as sex and drugs can be, they aren’t the same as flight. Sex and drugs come with obligations. They’ve been perverted into commerce, and you’re reliant on external agencies. For sex, you need a partner. For drugs, unless you’re a chemist or live next to the leaf, you…

More guns are the answer — First, it was vaccines, then baby formula, and now, it’s abortion. When are liberals going to stop whining? We lived for two million years without vaccines, baby formula, and abortion clinics, and life was great! Now, we have smartphones, guns, and all kinds of alternatives, so instead of complaining, it’s…

Living forever would be hell — We’ve all looked at the clock and thought “just a few more hours to go,” but the reality is that you’ll probably be doing something you can barely stand for the rest of your life. Retirement has become an impossible dream, let alone home ownership or starting a family. I…

The end of childhood — It takes a hard heart to kill, but a broken one will do. An empty one is even better. The fine part we’re born with that instinctively protects children implies a faith in the future. The joy on children’s faces when they see a puppy or kitten is a continuation…

We’re fucked — Skepticism and curiosity are essential to science. There’s always room for debate about which kind of mathematical analyses are most pertinent, and there’s a value in seeing possible connections and rigorously testing them before accepting them wholesale. Unfortunately, there’s always an outlet with an agenda willing to poison the well…

Nobody wants Tote — Windows operating systems have grown so enormous, buggy, and pointlessly redundant, there’s an entire IT sector devoted solely to helping Windows run properly. Corporations and schools stuck in licensing agreements with Microsoft, or run by aging users too entrenched to try anything else, have inflicted this monster on three generations…

There’s a reason some people hate them — In 2005, a judge ruled against teaching intelligent design, and people are still fighting to keep evolution out of schools. Watching a documentary about Kitzmiller v. Dover Area School District (M.D. Pa.) (2005), a man said — and I’m paraphrasing — I find the idea of being half-monkey insulting. There’s…